Doodle Illusion alert: As per usual, my more serious stuff – warning – do not proceed if you don’t want to have the illusion of Doodle as always being a happy-go-lucky character shattered. 
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I was reading a friend’s blog yesterday and found myself left with much to think about. The entry was about symbols, and more specifically for this individual, it was about the symbols that one uses in a Dominant/Submissive (D/s) relationship – and even more so the “collar.”
I do not pretend to understand all that is involved in a D/s relationship as my introduction to Second Life (SL) was also my introduction to the topic of D/s. But, I am not someone who comes across something which I am not familiar with and is content to just understand the situation “on a surface level” so I have taken the time to read and to try to understand better about what D/s is all about. Yes, I’m not known for shying away from much – it’s part of my “live and let” live philosophy in life.
Apparently, the friend had been told to not wear their chastity belt, cuffs, or collar as these were really only ’symbols’ and not necessary for him (the Sub) to show his love for his Master. Well, I guess while I can understand that one might think that these are purely just symbols, I was upset on two fronts when I finally thought about what had been asked of this person…
The first thing that really got me was I could not understand how someone could be “told” to take off these symbols. It appears that I had somehow mistaken the D/s relationship as one of things being done that are mutual – both parties consent. Now, normally, this tends to apply to the actual events or activities that are involved in a M/s relationship, but when all is said and done, I see that this type of decision was also a trust issue, and therefore should have been one made my mutual consent also. And, the D/s relationship is all about trust.
On the second level, and probably the one that really kind of hit home and made it so I could relate to what this individual expressed, I was struck by how important these symbols were despite their “frivolity.” I got to thinking about all the different symbols that we have around us in life including, or at least for me, the wedding band. See, I am married and while my commitment to my spouse goes far beyond what my wedding band is, if I were told I could not wear it, and particularly by him, I would feel so incredibly shocked and hurt, and at a complete and total loss. Yes, I would be lost without it as it is my way of not only showing to him my commitment, but also to the world. It is something I wear with pride and honor. I wish I could find the words that explain it well, but I cannot – it’s just a fundamental core of who I am, what I believe in.
Soo… where am I with all of these thoughts. Well, I’m not entirely clear on that yet – when I am troubled enough to blog about serious stuff, it means that I’m still coming to an understanding of things. I’m certain that it will all resolve itself, but for the moment *Hugs* – I think I get it friend
