Returned from the funeral

I’ve returned from the funeral.  I was probably quite rude and passed on the tea that was being offered later.  I don’t do well in large crowds, and if the issue at hand is emotional – forget it!  So, to protect myself and my fragile emotional state, I came home.

I don’t really have much to add to the previous post as I still grappling with a life taken so young and so violently.  I’m sure that eventually the feelings will come pouring through and I will deal with those feelings as they come.

I had logged onto Second Life to try to distract myself, but I think I shall take a nap for a while first.  Can’t focus, nor think straight, and talking to others, although not unwelcome, is difficult.

Catch ya on the flip side.

The ” ‘n more” part of my life

I’m stealing my coffee break time today to blog.  I’ll probably return again later as today is going to be a day for reflection.

I work within the mental health field (I think I have revealed that in previous blog entries) and a very sad event has occurred within this realm.  Life and death is a natural cycle that as one grows older, you come to expect – you know it wil happen – especially death.  Through 14 years of doing the same job, I have seen many (not lots, but many) people go from this world and onto the the next.  I’ve come to accept this, and have learned to deal with it in the best way that I know how.

Today is different.  Today, I am attending a memorial service for someone who did not die due to health issues or because life had reached it’s natural end, or even because they had chosen to end their own life.  Today, I am attending a memorial for someone who had their life snuffed out by the actions of another person.  They were young, perhaps one would say in the prime of their life, and someone murdered them.  I don’t know all the details yet; I’ve heard the rumours; I suspect some of what the truth may be, but I’m still feeling in a sort of limbo state – something that seems to defy words.

I don’t know where I stand with this all yet, but I think the thoughts weighing heaviest on my mind are related to the shortness of life, the cruelty of others, and the circumstances which place us in vulnerable positions.  I feel incredibly sad and incredibly angry - All at the same time. 

That’s it.  Coffee break is up, and I’m no further along in sorting out how I’m feeling about all this.  I’ll have to take another stab at it later I guess.