Okay… first things first. I’m trying really hard to make these blogs spontaneous. Doodle in real life carefully plots out her everything thought and move, and I want Doodle in SL to be more react to the moment, say what she thinks and feels. As a result, my blogs are not going to be those meticulously crafted pieces of writing or incredibly sensitive … no not sensitive.. well planned, with thought and consideration given to each word conversations. What this means for my bogs (in my long winded way) is they may not follow a rational, logical progression. That is they may ramble. Guess I just should have said that, huh?
A while ago, I asked a friend a favorite question of mine:
“If you could change anything in your life, what would it be?”
I waited patiently for their answer, and did get the ones I expected … “I would change this… and that … and this …”
Fair enough. Everyone has a different answer, and there is really no wrong or right answer to this question.
I also have a well thought out, and as was suggested textbook answer, of my own:
“I wouldn’t change anything in my life because who I am today is a result of all those things that have happened in the past. Generally speaking, I am happy with who I am and to change just one thing would fundamentally change who I am now.”
There were discussions that ensued after the original one where this question was originally asked, at which time I admitted that I don’t always feel this way. There are those times where I am really angry about stuff that happened in my life, there are things that I would absolutely love to be able to go back and erase, things that cause absolute pain to think about …
Yet, deep down, I still feel the same way about whether or not I would go back and change these things. Why??
I think I have to break it down into two different components: Psychology and Philosphy.
On the psychology end, I believe it has become about me accepting the things that have gone on in my life as being things I cannot change. They are the past and all I can do is move forward. It has become a matter of health and wellness for me (psychologically speaking) to accept them. I spent many years in a rut, stuck on thinking about those things that really really bothered me. While I was spinning my wheels fuming about life and what had been dealt me, I missed out on so much… a damn shame when I reflect on it. So, in the end, acceptance became a core part of my healing.
In regards to the philosophical piece, and yes, this is going to sound really strange and out there – some might even suggest sappy and full of bullcrap – I don’t want to change it because I am someone who believes in fate. I am so pleased with the people I have met along my life path (or most of them – just to take care of those people who might be skeptical 
) – and if changing just one of those life events would change the path I am on now… No thanks. Right here, right now, is good for me.
That’s it in a nutshell. I don’t think anything I ever think is simple or straight-forward. Not saying I’m a deep thinker, just that sometimes I have thought about something so long, I kinda forget how I got to the conclusion I got to. And there are times where I just don’t know how to explain why it is I came to an answer and why it feels right for me. I also reserve the right to change my mind at any point in time. 
So why the strange title to this blog entry? I have a twisted sense of humor (yup, I admit it!) and well… I’ve decided there must be a new branch of science – Philos-ology – The combination of philosophy and psychology. Heck, it probably already exists, but it’s a new thought for me!
