Friends on SL

Friends on SL can be many, but good friends …. that is the tricky part. How do you determine who is a good friend and who isn’t?

I’d like to think that I set the bar high (hope all my friends chests are puffing out right now) – but really, when it comes down to it, I want friends who are: sincere, honest, respectful, and caring. When these attributes are found within an individual, it seems logical to me that other things follow:

• They are fun to be with – I know that what I say to them is taken the way it is meant; I’m not spending my time worrying if they think what I said meant something else.
• I can be myself with them – I trust them because they do care; who I am and how I feel is okay.
• Anything and everything is okay - again, a trust issue, but I know that I can say and do anything, as long as it is respectful and they in return can do the same and at any time it is okay to say “I’m not comfortable with that.”

Alright? Which friends right now are telling me I am so naive? I can’t help it – it is who I am. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt and work from there. That is not to say that everyone starts out with my undying trust and I’ll tell you all my troubles, but everybody will get my respect and I will not be rude to anyone unless their actions require that I give a respectful “you’re being a jerk, now screw off” reaction.

So.. who are my friends? First, this is a list in progress, and as such, it will take a while to get it completed the way I want it to be done. Second, I always worry with this kind of thing if people will be offended – I hope not. I’m just trying at this point to point out some people who are playing a role in my SL life right now… influences, so to speak.

Zen Benneli: Zen… you big turd! Aww… come on, it is said with affection! Zen, my good friend, introduced me to SL and continues to challenge and dare me to stretch my Doodle arms and experience SL beyond my own little teeny weeny world. Zen and I are only about one week apart in age on SL, but I’m glad he hit the grid before I did because it gave him seven more days to be lost than I. Zen has become my shopping escort on SL as I have learned that I have a hard time shopping without surveyed by the opposite sex or even the same sex. Not that I mind, but I’m just a baby on SL and I need a protector. Of course, he has had a few laughs at my expense, but I don’t mind because that’s what good friends are for. Thanks Zen… and you do know there will always be payback

Duncan Rust: I’m pretty sure that Duncan was the second person I met on SL. He was a friend to Zen first, and Zen in his impeccable taste in friends, introduced me. From there, it’s been a real pleasure. Duncan has the greatest sense of humor and he has had me literally laughing and falling off my chair, and his quick wit keeps me on my toes, knowing that at any time I might open myself up for a “You asked for it” comment. On the other end of the spectrum, though, Duncan has challenged to me think past my *surface* talk and to dig a little deeper into who Doodle is. A good exercise for me, since the niceties of life and the fluff is the easiest thing to present to the world, even in SL. Thanks Duncan. I know that in the end, I’ll figure some of it out.

*****

Yes, I have more friends to add, but I want to do so in a thoughtful manner. That’s me … gotta think it through – careful, particular and exacting. But… that’s just who I am… everyone else is going to have to wait.

Note: I have moved the contents of this post to a dedicated page: Friends

The Evolution of Doodle

Doodle… who is Doodle?  And why Zenovka?

You see when you join Second Life, you get to pick your first name and have to select from a set list of last names.

• Doodle was the easy part – I wanted a name that somewhat reflected the personality I wanted to portray.  Fun, easy-going, a laugher.
• Zenovka was harder – sounds stupid, but I needed something I would remember, and I wanted it to be different.

That’s the really boring, I’m not telling you much about Doodle stuff, but hey, I felt it was important so, I told you.

Doodle is really a creation of the me that I would like to be – the one I would like the world to see.  And for the most part, when people meet me on SL, the Doodle they meet is pretty much me, but more.  More?  ?  ?

Yeah, more.   As Doodle, I want to be free – free!  Young, with nary a care in the world, happy, but able to express what and when I want to.  Initially, I didn’t have an age for Doodle, and Doodle still doesn’t really have an age.  It’s a work in process.  The phrase “Please be patient, God isn’t finished with me yet,” comes to mind.

I have toyed with the age of 15 & 16, but well, I don’t know that I’m ready to pin it down.  Some people use SL as a place to go back and try to heal from old wounds, and I suppose I could do that too.  Heck, I’m probably already doing it, but I haven’t really figured out what that age is yet.  Too many wounds?  Denial?  *shrug*  Who knows, but until I do know, I refuse to set an age down.

I’m struggling with many issues as Doodle.  Many, many, many.  Did I say many?  They aren’t bad issues, really - just challenging ones.  For example:  How and does Doodle have any relationships beyond friendships in SL if in RL she is committed to one person (married?)  Or… if Doodle is very much a reflection of me in RL, then do I create a second avatar to explore those darker issues?  Ahh… can you say more blog entries? 

Well, I think this is a good start at who I am as Doodle.  Admittedly, those who know me (yes, I can hear you!) are going to say … “Pshaw… speak beyond the surface stuff!”  Yup, you are right, and I will.  I just gotta scratch through the layers a little bit at a time so I don’t scare the crap outta myself.

Beginnings

Greetings all my fellow Second Lifers and even those of you who don’t know what Second Life is.

Rather than getting into the technical nitty gritty of what Second Life is, I would encourage all to go and check it out at Second Life. I can tell you what it has done for me:

• It has taken me out of my little safe *box* at home. Yes, I’m pretty much a home body, not inclined to go anywhere, but Second Life is giving me a chance to step outside that box. I can hear the murmurs in the background that escaping to a virtual world is not the same as getting out in real life (RL,) but I’ll leave that discussion for another blog entry too.
• I have met people I never would have met – never ever ever!!!
• I have come to appreciate that I speak the English language as my first language. Has anyone but me every stopped to think about how lucky we are when we grow up in a country where English is the primary language?
• I have had the opportunity to not only meet new people, but discuss topics and explore issues that I would not otherwise to get. (I promise to blog more on this too.)
• I have been developing a greater awareness of myself and showing parts of me that delve a little beyond the surface me that everyone is so used to seeing (Yup… another blog entry… sorry.)
• Most importantly – I’ve been having a hell of a lot of fun doing it!

I came to Second Life via a friend, Zen Benneli, and have had the good fortune to make many good friends there. Over the next little while I will talk about each of these friends and how they have all come to be a part of my SL experience and what they each bring to it. By the way – thanks for getting me addicted Zen!

The issues to discuss are numerous; the interactions within Second Life are simple yet complex especially when combined with Real Life. I am still getting a handle on the whole thing and I don’t expect that I will ever completely do so, as it would appear that the blending of SL & RL makes for a very fluid, ever changing picture. I can only say that I’m looking forward to exploring this fluidity and how it influences me in Real Life or how Real Life influence SL and visa versa.

Later, when I get a bit of time, I will sit down and write a little about Doodle – who she is, how she came to be, and how she is evolving as a character. It has been an experience, and writing it down will be as much for me as for anyone who would find it in anyway interesting to read about my ramblings.